Butch Whispers: Taylor Scoma
My name is Taylor Scoma and my pronouns are she/her/they/them. I’m from San Francisco, but I live in Portland, OR. I moved here in 2017 after being evicted from our rent-controlled apartment in San Francisco.
During the week I cosplay as someone who works. I work in the cannabis industry, so I do love helping local dispensaries in our community, but I’m not the biggest fan of capitalism. In my spare time, I like to consume as much fantasy/sci-fi content via the written word and via the big screen as much as I can.
I came from the food industry, so I still spend lots of time in local food & beverage spots with my people. I fill all silence with music because I am a Libra through and through. I can tell you where karaoke happens every night of the week in this town. Otherwise, you’ll find me with my two kitties and my boo snugglin’ up in our home in SE Portland.
1. Tell me your favorite or funniest memory from your dating life.
One of the funniest (and favorite) moments in my dating life was with the first woman I fell in love with. Dani had driven hours to my hometown to meet my family, which was a big deal in college. I don’t think I’ve ever been that nervous in my whole life, even to this day. Everything went so well that it was a major shock honestly. Afterward, we took a walk to the park near my family’s house and sat on a bench in the play structure and just talked. It was hella wholesome and cute. She said something that made me swoon so hard that I needed to kiss her immediately or I was gonna die. She was straddling the bench but I was sitting straight, so I went to straddle the bench to face her. As my leg left the ground I knew it was all over and I swiftly kicked her in the face. I was so mortified, but this sweet girl just laughed and laughed with me. After giving me the necessary amount of shit for it, Dani grabbed my face and gave me that kiss I so desperately needed. It was precious and we talked about it for so many years to come even after our relationship ended.
2. How does being butch positively impact your life?
Being butch is such a gift and has had a massively positive impact on my life. I believe that my butchness isn’t just part of my identity. I believe that it is a force within me that has a purpose in the world around me. It’s been the strong constant in me that has helped me realize so many parts of me that are my favorite parts. It’s the part of me that teaches me how to love myself every day. It’s the part of me that is the source of my creativity. It’s the source of my strength. It’s the source my of softness. It’s a part of what makes me, me and nothing makes me feel more at home than when I can feel someone loving me for being butch.
1. Tell me your favorite or funniest memory from your dating life.
One of the funniest (and favorite) moments in my dating life was with the first woman I fell in love with. Dani had driven hours to my hometown to meet my family, which was a big deal in college. I don’t think I’ve ever been that nervous in my whole life, even to this day. Everything went so well that it was a major shock honestly. Afterward, we took a walk to the park near my family’s house and sat on a bench in the play structure and just talked. It was hella wholesome and cute. She said something that made me swoon so hard that I needed to kiss her immediately or I was gonna die. She was straddling the bench but I was sitting straight, so I went to straddle the bench to face her. As my leg left the ground I knew it was all over and I swiftly kicked her in the face. I was so mortified, but this sweet girl just laughed and laughed with me. After giving me the necessary amount of shit for it, Dani grabbed my face and gave me that kiss I so desperately needed. It was precious and we talked about it for so many years to come even after our relationship ended.
2. How does being butch positively impact your life?
Being butch is such a gift and has had a massively positive impact on my life. I believe that my butchness isn’t just part of my identity. I believe that it is a force within me that has a purpose in the world around me. It’s been the strong constant in me that has helped me realize so many parts of me that are my favorite parts. It’s the part of me that teaches me how to love myself every day. It’s the part of me that is the source of my creativity. It’s the source of my strength. It’s the source my of softness. It’s a part of what makes me, me and nothing makes me feel more at home than when I can feel someone loving me for being butch.
The most important thing about my butchness that I wish people knew is that it actually allows me to embrace my femininity in a real way.
4. What is the most important thing about your butch identity you wish people knew?
The most important thing about my butchness that I wish people knew is that it actually allows me to embrace my femininity in a real way. Before I allowed myself to live authentically, moving through the world looking like this, I felt so weird about the way I performed femininity. I always felt like I was just trying to emulate what I SHOULD be doing, not what felt right to me. Someone owes me an Academy Award for the acting I was doing. But now, now I just move through the world as I am, and much of me embodies all kinds of femininity. If you want to see what I mean, just put on “Into You” by Ariana Grande and turn it up loud, once the chorus hits, you’ll get it 😉
5. What’s something in your life that you’re still searching for?
I have yet to live in all of the places that I plan to call home. Nothing has pushed me more into the realization of the next, better version of myself. My partner and I planned to live the rest of our days in the Castro. My family’s roots were so deep in San Francisco that I couldn’t imagine ever leaving. Now, five years after leaving the bay, I learned that I should have left home sooner. Portland will not be the last place that I call home, I know that for damn sure. BUT, I ain’t sellin’ the house that I bought here though! I’ll keep that beauty for a long while. Not sure I’ll ever let her go…
4. What is the most important thing about your butch identity you wish people knew?
The most important thing about my butchness that I wish people knew is that it actually allows me to embrace my femininity in a real way. Before I allowed myself to live authentically, moving through the world looking like this, I felt so weird about the way I performed femininity. I always felt like I was just trying to emulate what I SHOULD be doing, not what felt right to me. Someone owes me an Academy Award for the acting I was doing. But now, now I just move through the world as I am, and much of me embodies all kinds of femininity. If you want to see what I mean, just put on “Into You” by Ariana Grande and turn it up loud, once the chorus hits, you’ll get it 😉
5. What’s something in your life that you’re still searching for?
I have yet to live in all of the places that I plan to call home. Nothing has pushed me more into the realization of the next, better version of myself. My partner and I planned to live the rest of our days in the Castro. My family’s roots were so deep in San Francisco that I couldn’t imagine ever leaving. Now, five years after leaving the bay, I learned that I should have left home sooner. Portland will not be the last place that I call home, I know that for damn sure. BUT, I ain’t sellin’ the house that I bought here though! I’ll keep that beauty for a long while. Not sure I’ll ever let her go…
