Category: BIPOC

My name is Ki Harris, I was raised in Houston, TX but now live in Austin (ATX). I was competing in the Texas Relays the first time I visited ATX. I was still closeted and living a double life as a teen– exhausting, to say the least. My relationship with my girlfriend was a secret kept from everyone in my life except my two closest friends. I remember exploring this city and identifying with the “Keep Austin Weird” sentiment locals like to tout. As corny as it sounds, I really did see it reflected in the people and the culture. For the first time, I saw folks like me really living fearlessly and authentically, out loud, in public, and in the daylight.

I made up my mind then and there that I would do whatever it took to make a life for myself in this city. I applied to the University of Texas at Austin and the rest is history, really.

Recently, I started a business to serve my local queer community. As a stylist, tailor, and designer, I am a resource for folks who break traditional gender norms when it comes to style. I feel pride especially in serving those who identify as non-binary, genderfluid, gender-nonconforming, and/or LGBTQ+. Swankki is a brand and service that celebrates and encapsulates the extraordinary ways we adorn our bodies to express ourselves.

1. What is your favorite or funniest memory from your dating life?

The funniest memory from my dating life is probably my coming out story. It’s so ironic to think about what felt like the scariest moment in my life turning into the funniest after all these years. Since I was in high school, living at home and fully lying about my whereabouts half the time, it was only a matter of time before my mama’s intuition forced me out of the closet.

I was spending time at my girlfriend’s house. It was innocent. We were cuddled up in bed watching Law & Order: SVU when my mama called to see when I’d be home. I assured her my speech and debate competition would be over soonish and I’d be on my way, all of which were lies. I was literally laying in my girlfriend’s bed at the time with no sense of urgency to get back home. We said our goodbyes and I hung up the phone or at least I thought I had– rookie mistake….

My mama stayed on the line and eavesdropped just enough to confirm her suspicion. When I actually did get on the road, I called back to let her know I was on my way and she confronted me about what she had heard. I was caught, thankfully so in hindsight because I don’t know how else I would’ve garnered the nerve to come straight out and say, “Yes! I’m gay and my girlfriend is too!”

2. How does being butch positively impact your life? What’s been / what is the hardest thing about being butch for you?

As someone who gets “sir-ed” on a regular basis, I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that my perception of myself and how others perceive me are not always going to align. It says more about them and their limited mindset than it does about me. I used to get really agitated and would go out of my way to make it clear to the offender that I was indeed a woman, a “ma’am” if you will. It all seems so silly to me now, a waste of time and energy. Like, how could I pride myself on defying gender norms in my presentation and self-expression only to pigeonhole myself when it comes to language?? I answer to any pronouns now as long as you’re polite, and it has been so freeing. I’m still on this journey of self-discovery and being butch is only one part of the puzzle.

3. What is the most important thing about your butch identity you wish people knew?

Butch doesn’t inherently mean hard or cold. I’m soft despite the world’s many attempts to harden me and force me to be something I’m not. I will always take pride in being soft and malleable because rigidity is a result of fear.

4. What is something on your bucket list that makes you blush?

Financial freedom is on my bucket list. The possibility of earning passive income while traveling the world gives me a hard-on every time I think about it.

I’m black. I’m queer, and I’m a butch woman. I sometimes refer to this trifecta/intersection as a “triple threat”, because there are more folks against me than for me. I’ve worked extremely hard for everything I have, and I’ve come to understand that the invisible forces working against me compound with each identity.

As black folks, it is instilled in us that we must work twice as hard to get half as far. Now imagine stacking two more historically oppressed identities on top of that. As I get older, I understand more and more that this harsh reality is what my mother was trying to protect me from all those times she insisted I hide and suppress my true self. The older I get the less I hold that against her, because she really was just trying to protect me the only way she knew how.

5. I thought I’d always be at odds with my mama; turns out people really can change.

I thought I’d always be at odds with my mama; turns out people really can change…

@swank_ki

I’m Rhye. I am a trans-masc non-binary butch, my Mum is Indonesian and my Dad is Australian. I grew up in Australia but spent the last 5/6 years in Ireland, where my partner is from. It is funny in itself reading those lines back to myself, as they are all identities I spent a portion of my life not wanting to be. All of these identities existed in the ‘in between’; mixed race, non-binary, and living between two countries that are on opposite sides of the world.

Amongst I thought of my body as the DMZ; an area of conflict, something I wanted to escape, something to fear. I guess in all of it, I came full circle. The identities that I spent the most time running away from are now the lining of the cloak of self-love that I wrap myself in and through all those ‘in between’ zones, I learned to find a home in my body; my safe haven. Cheers to therapy right?

1. What is your favorite or funniest memory from your dating life?

I don’t know if this is what the question is, but once when my partner of nine years and I were visiting an art gallery in Edinburgh. It was unsurprising raining and in winter, so our gloves were wet. We got into the gallery and were arranging our things when she picks up the wet glove and slaps me in the face with it. We then proceeded to chase each other through the museum, hysterically laughing and slapping each other in the face with these wet gloves. We were laughing after imagining that we knocked a statue over or something, and when the museum director asked us how it happened, we’d have to explain that we were chasing each other to slap each other in the face with a wet glove.

2. How does being butch positively impact your life? 

Being butch was something that I rejected for a long time. When you grow up with so many societal norms that vilify any hint of masculinity in anyone that isn’t a cis guy, it’s not something you initially aspire to be. But then I learned to start shedding these predetermined pathways that we are conditioned to move along and undoing what was expected of me. In it, I learned to embrace being butch/ masc and be the goddamn twink-butch I was destined to be.

Through it I leaned into being a protector, to be chivalrous, to be soft, to be vulnerable to love harder, to love myself.

3. What’s the hardest thing about being butch for you?

The hardest thing is the lack of representation, and feeling like we are seen and held in the queer community. Ultimately you just want to, and for lack of better words, to feel hot (said in a Paris Hilton accent). But in truth, it is really hard to aspire to something when only a two-dimensional male-centric image is represented. Cheers to more bottom-butch hot joy. To representation of butches being complex (like everyone is) but without trauma.

4. What is the most important thing about your butch identity you wish people knew?

The hardest thing is the misconception of masculinity or butchness; that it is synonymous with being aggressive, hard, or toxic. Like it runs in parallel to toxic masculinity. In truth, being butch has bought more tenderness out in me. While butch is not a homogenous group of people, I wish there was a better understanding of the softness that exists. That it embodies so much more than iron-clad flannel-wearing motorbike riding lesbianing. But don’t get me wrong, I too aspire to that, but I am also here for the vulnerability, tenderness, and love that exists adjacent to it.

5. Who or what have you learned the most from in life?

There is a load of people that I am learning from and continue to learn from. But to be the biggest cliche, my therapist is high up in the ranks. To have a safe space each week, for all your information to be confined to the four walls, to have someone unbiased on purely on your side, who holds a mirror up to yourself, but also helps you dissect your traumas, is such a privilege. I truly won’t be the person I am if I hadn’t committed to doing the work on myself and having someone by my side through it all.

My name is Mariko Yoshiwara and am more commonly known in the queer and art community as Riko. I go by she/her pronouns. I was born and raised in the greater Portland metro area, specifically the East side. Portland has always been a safe place to be myself and explore the many parts of my identity. Portland provides quick access to the quietness of nature, the vastness of forests, and live music. All the reasons to stay in Portland.

I spend my life doing the things I love, connecting with people, and living with purpose. For 13 years carrying the identity of a teacher, it was an easy way to describe who I was and what I did. Now, it is not as easy. I barista most mornings and fill my afternoons with maintaining my art business around pyrography. I enjoy playing pool and spending as much time outside as possible, camping, paddling, snowshoeing, neighborhood walks, etc. Overall, I have found purpose to be living as authentically as possible and connecting with people and communities to help cultivate deeper human experience and connections.

I engage in opportunities that allow me to fulfill this purpose, especially through art expression. The newest venture is spoken word and sharing my stories with others. I recently applied for a Tedx Talk in Massachusetts.

1. How does being butch positively impact your life? And what’s the hardest thing about being butch for you?

I had never identified as being butch before being invited to participate in this interview, but since I was, it got me thinking, and I have evaluated what “being butch” is. I suppose being “butch” is all the parts of me that do not conform to the gender norm. In that case, the most positive thing about being butch is I get to express myself, move and engage with others in my most authentic and organic way. The hardest thing about being “butch” is being labeled as such. Being labeled has always felt restricting to me. I agreed to participate in this interview because the world views me as butch, and if that’s how the world sees me, then I want to be seen as the “butch” I am. Not the “butch” the world wants to sees butches as.

2. What is something on your bucket list that makes you blush?

I don’t blush easily, but I want to buy property and live in the woods. I want to create a dream space for community where there are goats and art. A space where people explore themselves and grow from connections with others. A space that is safe and empowers creativity and inspires self-exploration.

3. Who or what have you learned the most from in life?

Honestly, I have learned the most from myself. With the support and gentle nudges of my therapist along the way. People, experiences, and culture have provided a vast amount of learning opportunities. I have learned from all of these. I believe learning is growth and by experiencing these moments and people the growth happens in the mindset I choose to move through it with. Exploring myself, reflecting on external impacts and evaluating how I feel and where I end up is my true learning through my own lens of the world around me. Moving through the world with patience, self-grace, a growth mindset, and curiosity are my best learning tools.

4. What’s something in your life that’s gone unfulfilled that you’re still searching for?

I am currently stepping into a chapter in my life where I address the unfulfilled parts of myself. I taught for 13 years; thought I would retire as a public educator. I became stagnant and felt trapped. There was this growing pain of unfulfilled experiences. I left teaching a year ago, without a plan. I am now surrounded with a life I could never have imagined with opportunities ahead of me that I could never have dreamed up in my most dreamy dreams. I established a small business and am taking workshops to learn how to be an entrepreneur. I am making and selling art. I am sharing my stories and experiences through writing and spoken word. I am connecting with new communities and feeling an abundance in opportunities in the future of the unknown.

6. What has been the best thing that you’ve been wrong about in your life?

The best thing I have been wrong about is ever thinking or assuming I had anything figured out.

@myoshiwa